Courtesy of our Repair Shop manager, Mike Horan:

A bluegrass band is playing a cruise ship gig and the banjo player falls overboard. He starts screaming up to his bandmates, “I can’t swim!”.

They reply, “Fake it!”.

A banjo player walks into a library and says to the librarian “Can I have a cheese burger, large fries and a coke please?” The librarian looks at him and says “this is a library!”. The banjo player says “Sorry” and whispers “Can I have a cheese burger, large fries and a coke please?”

An old man was on his death bed and called his whole family together so that he could bid them farewell and make his peace with the world. After he said what he wanted to each in turn, he knew he was coming very close to death. He called for all to gather together.

“I have one thing I would like to confess before I go,” he said. They all drew closer. “It was me,” cough, wheeze, “I was the one,” he said as they leaned down as close as they could to hear what he could barely get out in a whisper. Gasp, cough, “I was the one,” cough, wheeze, “in the kitchen with Dinah…”

How can you tell if there’s a banjo player at your door?

They can’t find the key, the knocking speeds up, and they don’t know when to come in.